blurty

due to lack of space on this site, i decided to do as janie - join flickr. this entry is stickied, so just point your mouse to the right and scroll down to find lots of insightful thoughts.

ahhh... the places you see when the most stressed.

today i set my alarm for 7.30, didn't quite make the target and tumbled out of bed a half hour later, hair in complete disarray. three hours earlier i had finally managed to complete 600 words of my essay - the process of which included a frustrating seven or so hours, starting with three slices of dominatrix pizza. the original plan had been an all-nighter in the computer lab with a few other struggling comrades in the hope of finishing at eight in the morning. however, due to immense stomach pains following two cups of strong coffee, a mix of six fruits, the pizza and goodness knows what else, i surrendered to the cutting pains and limped my way home in the dark. thankfully i was not alone, but kirsty accompanied me as the walk home would probably have seen me imagining chavs around every corner waiting to pounce on me, and feed me to their viscious dogs. on the other hand it would have ended my torment over the essay. the thought had crossed my mind - eaten alive vs. failing.

it surely is the worst essay i have written over the course of two years. disappointment is piling up, staring at me, taking up too much space on the sofa next to me.

200 words left... what to write... what to write...

Dear Janie,
Reading your entry reminded me of how your creativity this summer has inspired me. Leaving the photo shoot last sunny Sunday afternoon it struck me that perhaps last year's overdose of procrastination was due to the lack of our conversations. Quite possibly.

Unfortunately this past week has been spent serving customers instead of enjoying the last weeks of summer. From 12-7pm I smile whilst my feet endure the pain of being squeezed into cheap New Look shoes.

Listening to Nina Simone brings back memories of watching Before Sunset. What if life could be like that. Upon traveling around in Europe you meet a person who after a day seems to know your every contour, every little corner hidden inside you. Nine years later and nothing has changed, there was an inevitible connection that first moment you met and somehow, fate has brought you together again. Fate. Hrmn, though I use it, I'm not sure I completely believe in it. Then again, meetings must carry some meaning, significance, more than just a coincidence?

Perhaps that's too much thinking for this time of the night..

Let me know how everything turned out with your planning of the WWF events!

Much love,
Emelie.

eesh, eesh, how could it all have been forgotten? abandoned, left to gather dust in the darkest corner and become a ghost only to suddenly be discovered by one person: jae-ni (aka. puttenutt). diaryland, our former little space to scribble, complain, talk about dying, how four months was only 1% of someone's life if dying by the time she turned 60. plenty more is stored in the land of our past lives.
after a year at uni i was convinced that i had changed into a different person. billiem was nothing but a mere shadow, or so i thought. reading entries that date back to 2003 i realise that i'm still worried about the same things: commitment problems, exercising more... its all there. except, the world has grown, even more complications. deciding what university to apply to seems a lifetime away. present thoughts are focused on next year: do i take a year off to work within fashion or a large company. yet again, planning for the future, growing up, turning into an adult.
surely we've all changed in some ways though, developed, matured, whichever. but what if in ten years we'll forget who we once were. "never forget your childhood innocence" - old friends help you remember. let's not become like the people in the book "momo" who try to save time but instead end up losing it for their hectic lives in turn becoming bleak shadows of their old cheery selves.

AND WHAT ABOUT BOB!?!?!?!